Talk

Tonight I was in a large group of people listening to conversations. Basically everyone there knew one person: the same person. But not everyone there knew each other. And so, in getting to know one another, the conversations centered on the one person that everyone already knew. Different groups of people knew him from different organizations where he had previously or is currently involved. And to a person, each one spoke with admiration for his character, enjoyment of his company, respect for his intellect, thoughts, and opinions.

This obviously led to some storytelling between the groups. But what struck me the most was how unwilling people are to say these positive things to someone they obviously respect. I realized that it is common in our culture, actually. To sit there thinking how blessed we are to know this person and then say to the next person, “You mean you are going to leave me/us here to deal with him on our own?” in a pejorative tone.

Why is it so hard to tell someone what we really think: that we are proud of their accomplishments, admire their character, welcome the opportunity to spend time with them, respect their integrity, appreciate their graciousness? (Feedback welcome.)