The Role of Struggle

In the parenting class I took in January & February, we talked about the importance of letting children struggle. Allowing them to learn to make decisions and to deal with the consequences teaches discernment and prepares them to make decisions throughout the rest of life.

In our Sunday School class this week there was a lot of discussion regarding teaching children to be responsible by giving them responsibility.

The sermon in church this week entitled “Maturity” by Pastor Chris Little (listen to it here) focused on Hebrews 5:11-14. Chris said that a disciple is one who “sits at the feet of and learns how to do life like the teacher.” That may not be an exact quote. Pastor Little reminded us that it is not the responsibility of the pastor or other church leader to make sure that an individual is spiritually “fed”. It is, in fact, the responsibility of the individual.

All of these discussions have led me to really consider what it might look like to train teenagers to be responsible adults. As a parent, that is. This will certainly be a bit different than being a youth group leader.

Children are always looking to the next milestone in life: starting middle school, starting high school, being old enough to participate in youth group activities, getting a driver’s permit, getting a driver’s license, graduation, etc. Each milestone is a goal that the child works to achieve. So, the maturation process is active.

When I was in college I came to the conclusion that the point of school is not just to give one a foundation in knowledge but even more to teach the student how to solve problems and seek out needed answers to questions.

The process of becoming mature physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc are similar in that the student is primarily learning to question, seek out possible answers, draw conclusions, and apply the conclusions to life.

I wonder how different this concept will be for my children. Will they have been in situations where life was lived passively or will they already understand active participation in life?