In the chapter of curriculum for today, Beth Moore focuses on Esther 8:8 and discusses the attitudes and perspectives of the various characters. Just prior to this verse, Xerxes explains that he has executed the bad guy and given his wife a bunch of real estate confiscate from said bad guy. Beth Moore states, "The queen probably wanted to scream something like this to her stubborn, detached husband-king: 'But you haven't yet done what I asked! Did I ask you for half the kingdom? Did I ask you to give Mordecai your signet ring? We are asking for our lives here! Not things! (Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman,182)"
This paraphrase caught my attention because of the last two sentences.
When I was visiting my son at his former home, I had the opportunity to observe either personally or vicariously on several occasions how people from the community are generally willing to interact with these kids who have been in some way rejected, neglected, abused, etc in their family of origin. What I saw was that a lot of people are willing to throw things their way, but not a lot of people are willing to take the time to invest in the life of a kid who has no one. MP3 players, clothes, CDs, Movies, Toys. Not that those things are not useful or needed. Just that they don't replace love or commitment.
I've seen a few statistics. I don't know the original source but I believe them to be true.
Did you know that children with a history in foster care are twice as likely to see their own children enter the system as a person who never lived in foster care?
Did you know that more than 50% of males who emancipate from foster care will end up in the criminal justice system?
Are you aware that youth in foster care are more than 40% more likely to NOT graduate from high school? That more than 20% of homeless adults were at one time in the foster care system?
In my experience, children who have some sort of good role model can move beyond becoming one of these statistics. But throwing stuff their way, doesn't do it. It's not about the stuff. It's about loving a person that someone else has given up on.
I hear people complain about rising crime rates, people who are homeless not getting jobs, the drop out rate, etc. But what I don't see is those who are complaining actually doing something that will leave a legacy of stopping the cycle.
I've been told that most children end up in foster care because their parents just plain don't understand good parenting; and that many (most) children are able to go back to their natural families because parents are willing to learn how to be better parents. No one's perfect so don't expect perfection.
But for those children who never have the opportunity to see their biological parents step up and be responsible... who's going to take that place? Who is willing to step out of their comfort zone and mentor a child whose never had anyone give them individual attention and say they are important? Who is willing to go into the prison and teach budgeting and finance to an inmate who just doesn't have the skills to make it in the outside world without that training?
It's not easy. I can tell you that much. Some days my son is still asking if it's really true that he doesn't have to change families again. In fact, he was afraid that by me putting his name on the census form that someone would have opportunity and reason to take him away. Yeah, it's not easy for anyone. He sees me make mistakes pretty much daily. But when I mess up, it becomes an opportunity for him to see how to fix the problem or how to deal with something that cannot be fixed.... and sometimes he sees how I make it worse with my own stubborn attitude. But any way he sees it, he sees someone taking the time to care about him, teach him the Truth, to be vulnerable, and to provide a safe place for him to have that same vulnerability.
As a society, as a community, and as individuals, we need to stop giving things in place of what people really need: their lives.
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