On Becoming a Parent

This morning I started attending a parenting class. (If you are confused as to why I am attending a parenting class, please click here for an explanation.)

The class is founded in the “Love and Logic” (http://www.loveandlogic.com/) approach to parenting. This is a six-week (once a week) class.

Today was an introduction. We discussed three different parenting styles, what they look like, how the children usually react, and the typical results of using those styles. It was all very interesting.

Next week the topic is “Avoiding Control Battles” which I hear will be especially important in adopting. Other topics include “Giving choice and logical consequences”, “the truth about self-esteem”, and “the teen years”.

I am hoping to come out of this with better tools for being a good parent than those which were modeled for me when I was growing up.

Over time, I’ve watched a number of friends and co-workers prepare to become parents. Almost everyone seems to go through some series of thought processes regarding those things that will need to change in order to be a good role model for their child(ren).

Over the last few weeks, in particular, I’ve become aware of habits that need to go. Some will be minor adjustments. (The Listerine bottle will become a community item so I’ll have to begin using a cup for that.) Others will not be quite so minor.

The last few months I’ve become aware that I tend to offer unsolicited solutions or advice to people pretty much all the time. This morning, in class, one of the tools mentioned for teaching children to think and problem solve for themselves is to ask whether they want advice and be willing to let them handle the situation on their own if they say “No”. This will not be a small adjustment for me.

Tonight we were talking about Lent and fasting. This year my Lenten fast will be a fast from handing out unsolicited advice. Not necessarily easy for me. I hope that the results of this will be (1) a habit of listening to people more (and talking less), (2) an ability to treat people with more respect, (3) honoring God in the way I interact with people around me, and (4) a step toward learning to listen, respect, and honor my children.