Empathy and God's Timing

One of the most frustrating statements that I’ve heard during this journey in adoption is that either my child(ren) will arrive or that a desired/hoped for/promised phone call or communication will come “in God’s timing”. I know that people intend this to be an encouraging statement. However, it is spoke so very often that sometimes it is easy to ignore the intended meaning or to get annoyed. The statement itself has become very cliché; very pat.

I’ve really struggled with how to communicate this struggle to the people around me. Tonight a friend of mine reminded me of the meaning of the word “empathy”.

There was one morning at church where I think I was so overwhelmed with some adoption-related emotion that I had to ask one person not to make that statement as a way of protecting all of us from me having an even bigger emotional response to whatever was on my mind.

Another adoptive parent gave me a hug one morning and told me that it would all happen in God’s timing. My other friend with me said or asked something and my response was, “Well, she’s allowed to say it because she’s gone through it.” I’ve discovered that if another adoptive parent makes a statement about God’s timing, it carries a lot more weight and actually tends to serve its intended purpose. That person’s ability to empathize somehow adds to the meaning of the words.

This week, several non-adoption related situations have served for God to remind me in very tangible ways to be waiting on His timing. I guess if I can’t hear the words from other people, He will paint me a picture that I can’t miss.

This has been a very timely (pardon the pun) lesson for me as I am still waiting on a promised phone call regarding adoption.