Suspended!

Yesterday I was working my merry way along through all of the problems at work when I got a call on my work phone from my son’s school.  There was a behavior problem and I needed to come pick him up.

When I got there, I found out that it wasn’t as simple as pick him up now and he can come back on Monday (fall break on Thursday & Friday).  He is suspended for two days (Monday & Tuesday) and may not come back to class until we have a conference about his behavior on Wednesday morning.

As we were leaving the school, this kid wanted to know if he can go to the Y to play with the other kids this afternoon (usual after school time) and tomorrow during fall break.  He seemed very surprised when I said, “Your behavior this morning shows me that I can’t trust you to behave in public right now so, no, you may not go to the Y.”

“But you CAN trust me, Mom!”

“Well, your behavior is not showing it.”

On the way home from the school he wanted to know whether he could watch movies and play with his friend.  “No.”  This seemed to surprise him.

When we got home, he had to take a break in his room for half an hour, not as punishment but to allow his emotions to calm down so that he can interact rationally. 

After his break, I had him deliver an anonymous bag of food to a neighbor family.  He came back and I thanked him for making the delivery.  He joyfully said, “Anything for a neighbor.”  So I asked him, “Who is your neighbor?”

He wasn’t sure so we sat down and read Luke 10:25-37 and discussed it.  I asked who was his neighbor at school?  He answered with the name of the child he had intimidated this morning.  We discussed better methods of interacting and he got frustrated.

A shorter break in his room this time.  Then on to starting to write letters of apology to each of the teachers and the student to whom he was disrespectful.  He wanted to use some of my nice cards.  My son is a very talented artist but will be lazy any time he can get away with it.  So, I told him that he had to get blank paper, use his creativity and imagination, and make his own cards. 

He was very unhappy with me.  Even more so when he found out that he had to use proper structure (which they’ve been learning in class), proper punctuation, proper spelling, and that if his writing wasn’t readable, he had to re-write it.  The cards came out pretty well.

Today he’ll get to spend doing extra chores (to keep him out of more trouble).  Monday and Tuesday I’m lining up community service opportunities. 

He asked me yesterday about the community service opportunities.  I told him that one of the days he might have to help pick up trash and dog poo around our complex.  He informed me that picking up dog poo is disgusting and that he isn’t going to do it.  He said this with an air of superiority.  I told him that someone has to do it.  Then I said, “Who do you think made the choice for you to have to do some of the disgusting jobs?”  He sighed, “I did.”

He spent much of the afternoon sad about his actions and the consequences... But he is a teenage boy and there’s not a whole lot of sadness that can’t be cheered right up if a good fart happens to come along....