Not Coincidence

In my October 5 post, I mentioned that God has confirmed that we should make this move.  A number of people have asked how.  So, I’m finally taking the time to sit down and write it out.  Please be aware that while this is long, it by no means contains all the details that God clearly orchestrated.

In December 2010, shortly before my son was told that I would like to adopt him, I realized that the time might come when we would need to leave Denver in order for him to be able to heal from his trauma.

I spent time thinking about what geographic locations might be appealing and whether I would have a support network there.  As a single parent, I am concerned about the ramifications of not having a support network.  Based on this, I narrowed my choices down to (1) Michigan, (2) Seattle, or (3) anywhere else.  Michigan is most appealing because I know numerous people there.

By the beginning of January, I had come to the conclusion that if I were to apply to another market, Michigan would be my first choice; but I didn’t start looking or applying.  My son wasn’t moving in until mid-February and I had at least six months of foster care before moving would be a viable option.

In April, some friends were over and my son had one of his meltdowns triggered by something that reminded him of his past.  After my son went to bed, I had a conversation with my friends about how I was probably going to need to move eventually and neither one of them indicated that this was a poor decision.

In May, it seemed like God was saying that I needed to start working on moving. 

I was overwhelmed.  My son was having trauma-related emotional outbursts all the time.  People kept promising that they would get qualified for respite care so that I could have a break but they didn’t follow through.  At least three different people made and broke that promise.  I was completely worn out and all I could say was, “Look, God, if you want me to move, you’re going to have to work it out because I don’t have the time or the energy to do the necessary research.”

In June I did look around at some internal postings for the state of Michigan.  I had previously decided that I want to stay in company, if at all possible.  I found one position for which I am qualified that is related to what I do now but not quite the same job.  I applied.  Two weeks later, I had not had a response and the resume submission did not say that they were not considering me.  So, I went to the local market manager for that position and asked if he knew his counterpart and would help me to follow up. 

He agreed to do this and then very seriously asked me if I “seriously want to move to Michigan”.  In all honesty, I had been kind of back and forth in my mind as to whether to pursue this but when he asked, it was suddenly very clear, “Yes, I want to move to Michigan.”  He then informed me that he used to work in one of the Michigan markets.  I had no idea!

He found out that the position for which I had applied had already been offered to someone and encouraged me to apply for others in the market.  I found two that were for my same job but an engineer level that is two above my current level.  One other job was for one level above current but it was a job I really did not want.  I applied anyway and figured that God would figure that out.  In the meantime, I was continuously drawn to the posting for one of the positions that was two levels above me.  I told my co-worker that I wasn’t going to waste anyone’s time by applying for the positions for which I am not qualified.

Two weeks later, I logged in and saw a notification that I was not being considered for the second position for which I had applied.

Things were getting busy between work and home and I didn’t look closely for a week or so.

Near the end of June, I received an email from the sub-market engineering manager for that position to which I had been drawn (the other was in a different sub-market).  He was informing me that the position level could be adjusted, that he had heard I was interested in his market, and that he really wanted me to apply.  I was caught by complete surprise.  I applied that evening.

I sent him a reply stating that I had applied and that I would be going on vacation the following week (away from email) but that he could call my mobile phone, if needed.  He let me have an uninterrupted vacation and then emailed the second day I was back in the office.

His email contained times that he was available to conduct an interview.  I had the interview on a Friday and finished up around 13:00 my time.  Before 11:00 on Monday, I had a call asking me to schedule an interview with his manager.  I had the second interview that week.

In both interviews I told them that I would not be able to move until the adoption was final.  In reality, I could have moved beforehand but the process would have delayed finalizing the adoption by a significant period of time.

I told one of my friends that I had interviewed and she asked what I would need to have in order if I were to move.  She lives in the area to which I would be moving.  I was still so overwhelmed that the idea of looking at schools and childcare was really daunting.  That afternoon she had an email to me regarding school districts and childcare options. 

A week later I followed up via email with the sub-market engineering manager because his boss had indicated that I needed to interview another level up, as well.  He didn’t respond but 4 days later I got a panicked phone call from the AVP’s assistant.  She had forgotten to schedule my interview.  Once she calmed down, we got it scheduled for the following week.

The interview went very well.

I emailed a couple other friends and asked for recommendations on churches in the area so that I could start researching.  The husband answered with a list of churches.  The wife answered with a statement that they know people who foster-adopt and who they think would be a good support system for me.  They want to introduce me to those people when I come.  Having people who understand what is going on when it comes to a kid who just exited foster care is a big deal.  It means I’m not alone.  I cried when I saw that email.  The biggest support piece I need had just shown up, unasked.  The other thing that struck me in my friend’s statement was that she said “when” not “if”.  To me it sounded as if she believed I was coming.

This was mid-August.  I decided not to tell my son that I was interviewing because I wanted him to stay as stable as possible.  School was starting.

The day before school started, my son worried himself to the point of diarrhea.  He was scared that a biological relative (one that is not good for him) would show up at his school and bother him, hurt him, or try to take him.  We prayed.  He made it the first two days of school and nothing happened.  Then it was the weekend.  On Sunday morning he was again so worried that he was heading toward illness again.  He was totally stressed out and crying.  I was at my wits end.  I asked what I could do to help him be less stressed.  He looked me straight in the eye and asked if we could move.  I asked if he understood that moving might mean we have to leave Denver.  He said that was fine.  I asked if he realized that leaving meant that he would not be near his brother.  He said he hadn’t thought about it but that he wanted to move anyway.  So, I told him that I was interviewing.  He was ecstatic.

After two weeks, I contacted the hiring manager again and was told that they were waiting on HR to get back with the paperwork.  He said the holdup appeared to be finalizing the relocation package.  “Have they talked to you about a relocation package?”  Um, no.  In fact, in the interview I had been told that there would not be one.

In the meantime, I was asked to keep them informed on the progress of the adoption.

I had a meeting at the end of August with the lady who would be submitting my court paperwork.  She asked when I wanted to shoot for having the adoption finalized.  I told her that it needed to be as soon as possible because not having the permanency was causing my son to feel unstable.  I asked a few questions about expected timing and told her that I was being considered for an out-of-state promotion but that I was concerned about whether I’d be able to go when offered.  She told me that if I could get a promotion that I needed to go for it because they haven’t had a raise in about 3 years working for the state.  She also said that if the adoption wasn’t final, there were some options.  Then she said that if a slot opens up on a docket, sometimes the court will ask if there is anyone hearing that can be moved up.  Sometimes it is only a day or two notice.  I told her that I would be willing to take one of those slots.

I followed up with the hiring manager again and found that they were still waiting.

My son's fears were confirmed on a low-level when one of his relatives started bothering him at school.

At the end of September, as you may already know, I got a phone call 24 hours in advance of the adoption hearing. 

At the beginning of October, I received the offer, with relocation package.

Details have been falling in to place with little effort and there is no doubt that God has been arranging all of it.  People have been incredibly kind and have gone out of their way to help me get things figured out, settled, and set up.

This many things don’t line up by coincidence.  I believe that God has used all the little details to confirm that this move is in His plan.