First Christmas

Just before Christmas last year is when my son found out that he was going to be adopted. His first overnight visit was for Christmas Eve. That was a hectic few days.

This year was our first Christmas as a family with no other distractions.

A few days before Christmas, my boy started acting out and I learned about some trauma related to Christmas celebrations. We therefore read the Christmas story from Luke a bit earlier than originally planned and spent some time talking about the reason we celebrate Christmas and the meaning of Jesus birth, death, and resurrection in every day life as well as how the gifts we give at Christmas represent the unconditional gift of grace given to us as a result of Christ’s death.

He still wasn’t too sure that bad things weren’t going to happen. Actions speak louder than words so he got to open one of those tangible unconditional gifts early. (Good thing Grandma had planned ahead to have something wrapped under the tree because Mama didn’t have her stuff out yet!)

Over the next couple days, I got asked a few times if it was really true that he was going to get to celebrate Christmas.

On Christmas Eve, we went to church to hear my friend’s children sing. They were very good. My son spent half of the day saying, “Can we go to their house yet?” He loves playing with the kids so he was very excited when we were invited over after the service... and very disappointed when we left to go home. (However, about 5 minutes in the car and he was passed out and snoring loudly.)

While we were there, my friend’s said that they were going to use the NORAD tracker to keep track of Santa and asked me to make sure that my son knew not to spill the beans about Santa existence. I was told by one of the staff at his previous residence that he did not believe in Santa.

I pulled my kid aside and said, “The little kids still believe in Santa so don’t spoil it for them.”

He very innocently said, “What do you mean?”

I asked, “Are you expecting Santa to come tonight?”

“Of course!”

Nothing like finding out at the last minute that Santa needs to visit the house. I had wrapped a few little things that I’ve collected for my son over the last year and those were already under the tree (and my son has been checking on gifts so he wouldn’t have been fooled by rearranging their location). There were a few more little items in a box that I had not planned to use quite yet so Santa wrapped and delivered those during the night.

However, about 5 minutes in the car and he was passed out and snoring loudly.

When we got home, he went right to bed. He woke me up just after 6:30 on Christmas morning. He’s still afraid to come right out and ask for what he really wants so he said just asked if he could sleep in my bed. I snoozed for another hour or so while he wriggled around, pestered the dog, whatever. Then he finally said, “I wish I knew what I was getting for Christmas.”

“Oh, did you want to open presents or something?”

“YES! Can we? PLEASE?”

“Yes. All you had to do was ask.”

After the gifts were tallied, he watched a couple of the Christmas movies that I’ve been recording off the TV, played with the dog, and worked lego kits while I fixed breakfast and got some things done. We spent the day relaxing and playing.

My son received a lego kit for his birthday a week before Christmas and spent 2 days putting that one together with numerous stops and starts because of frustration. He did, however, complete the kit - even taking it with him once when he was required to take a break in his room because of his attitude.

He finished 2 lego kits on Christmas day with no frustration.

Being able to take the initiative to work a project, focus on one task for that long, and follow a project to completion is fairly new to him and will be a skill that will help him all of his life.

In August he played for a whole hour once and that was the first time that I had seen him actually play for more than 10 minutes at a stretch. Since August, he’s been pretty sporadic about being interested in imaginative play. On Christmas was to play for several hours without interruption, using his imagination. This is a big shift for him to be utilizing his own mind instead of relying on someone else. He’s gaining confidence.

All in all, it was very nice to have a low key day to relax and have fun. I hope all of you enjoyed Christmas as much as we did!